Here is wishing TNC - Dubai and all my young friends who will be participating in the programm all the best. I wish it had happened 35 years ago, and although I am not eligible to participate, I logged on to the dubaitaaruf site, and come to think of it, how things have changed for the better, and my young friends will have a rollicking time.
A sea of emotions and feelings will rise at the foot of Jebel Hafeet, will blow with gale force in the desert sands, ebb and rise in the swanky and plush malls, and find its mooring and bliss in the several Mithi Sitabi majlis that will take place, for the youngsters, so that they can be at ease and witness and experience the miracle of bonding and love
This has been possible only with the doa mubarak of our beloved Aqa Moula
(TUS) and the untiring efforts and zeal of TNC -Dubai under the auspices of ITNC. Mubarak and mohanna.
Here I would like to share with my young friends a few of my thoughts on love and bonding. First let us get the basics right. Volumes have been written on love and relationship, but I will try to be very specific.
Taaruf programmes are organized, so that youngsters get an opportunity to interact within a time frame, under deeni 'mahol', and expert supervision, but every thing depends upon the attitude of the participants. Many attend for TP (time pass) or just to check out the 'guys and gals' and if it is held in a city like Dubai, to get good value for the money spent. Thus it proves very detrimental, and at times, it is seen some participants, just for the fun of it, play with the emotions of other participants, who attend with conviction and are carrying with them the aspirations of their parents and family.
So on the fast track of love lane, it is prudent to have a proper road map and speed breakers, so that there are no emotional crashes and pile ups.
TNC sets up the stage and puts up the .'props' but it the participants and their attitude that largely leads to the success of the show. In a relationship the 4 golden rules are : BE CLEAR - BE REALISTIC - BE FLEXIBLE - BE EQUITABLE. The 5 acts or steps are as follows:
1. Aqa Moula (TUS) doa mubarak and the zeal and khidmat of mumineen to ensure that maximum number of youngsters are able to make the right choice.
2. Working partnership - here the 'props' (in this instance, the resort stay, desert safari, Mall visits etc:) with the active help of councilors and feed backs, assist the participants to establish a working partnership.
After this Act 2 the success of the show now solely depends entirely upon the participants themselves.
3. Roamntic relationship - the spark is lit, the feeling flows in torrents, and for each other the following lines from a song beautifully articulates their sentiments and feelings for each other.
' I will be the dream that will keep you awake
I will be the face that you will see in the flower........ '
4. Applying value of compatibility - for this you do not need the heart, but the brains. Here the 4 golden rules come into play.
5. Commitment for maintenance of relationship and betterment. This is the most vital and a continues process for love bonding and a happy marriage.
There is no perfect marriage, but each marriage can be perfected a little each day. So if after 20 -40 years or more of marriage, if you can feel for your partner the sentiments, as expressed in the following beautiful song, both of you will deserve, a standing ovation !!!
Through the years, when everything went wrong Together we were strong, I know that I belong Right here with you ... Through the years I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out I've learned what love's about, by loving you Through the years
Through the years, you've never let me down You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found I've found with you ... Through the years It's better every day, you've kissed my tears away As long as it's okay, I'll stay with you
Through the years! (Song by Kenny Rogers)
So my young friends, here is wishing you all the best. Try to understand the difference between infatuation and love. Infatuation is an instant desire, which fades with time. Infatuation has an element of physical attraction, it lacks confidence in your self and your partner.
On the other hand LOVE is a growing, unfolding exiting journey, it teaches you to be patient, it is an understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection, it involves honesty, respect and trust for each other.
'Mein Hu Na' if you have anything to confide and share with me. Just mail me
May Allah grant our beloved Aqa Moula (TUS) sehato a'afiyat-ta-kiyamat.